mollyx

It's a little scary and yet, funny.
Now I'm not begrudging the woman her desire for a devout man, if that's what you want. But imagine how much easier it would have been had she met him in advance.
They meet for a coffee date at Starbucks. He orders a caramel macchiato with an egg sandwich. She realizes all of the sandwiches have bacon or sausage, excuses herself to head to the bathroom and she never sees him again. She doesn't get sucked into a bad marriage and he can eat his bacon in peace.
Hell, a phone call could have solved this. Before you get married, you talk to him on the phone and ask him his favorite place to eat. If he says, "Brother Jimmy's," hang up the phone. You've just been spared a lifetime of heartache. Oh yeah, and attempted murder charges.

You'll forgive me if I find this amusing, but you have to understand.
When I was a teen expressing my desire to date, my dad would tell me about how marriages used to be arranged for the bride and groom and the decision of who I would be with would be up to him.
Being a smartass, I'd then point out how commonplace stories of elopements, unhappy marriages, alcoholism and suicide were during that era of predestined betrothal. I would then stand my ground, thanking God for putting me in the right century.
I've never been happier to see my stance confirmed in print.

I mean, the blogger put all of the satire into one line: After all, it was a good old-fashioned arranged marriage -- what could go wrong?

Well... there's your answer.

First off, what the hell are you doing exacting revenge on a child?
Second of all, unless the fight was physically or psychologically damaging to your child, you have no business getting involved in your child's skirmishes.
Third, what manner of STUPID would possess you to release the child's name and number on Craigslist?!
Completely ignoring the fact that they've just put someone away for life for luring a victim to their death via Craigslist, she does this.
If ANYTHING, ANY type of sexual assault had happened to this poor child, you would be responsible, you idiot! Hell, you would be sexually exploiting a 9 year old and I'm fairly certain the courts don't take too kindly to that.
Any of these men calling could have easily not taken no for an answer and started following the girl. You put a 9 year old girl in DANGER, because she had an argument with your child?!

If another mother had put that on her child, you know this heifer would be screaming bloody murder all over Long Island.
I was under the impression that as a mother, the idea is to be more mature than your child, in an effort to set an example of what an adult should be. Not make a feeble attempt at being a prepubescent pimp, you pouty, overgrown child!

WHAT A DUMBASS!
I really want to beat this chick like Kanye.
I knew, I KNEW the news was going to be a special brand of crazy this week.

Okay, kids. Who's winning the dumbass race this week?

It's only Monday and already we've got a 5-star rated Dumbass.
The news is going to make my head hurt this week. I can feel it.

The Icky House Club hit the Time Out New York Lounge last night to start promoting the Halloween show.
I asked the accompanist for the open mic if we could a spot on the list and it was all good. He asked for a bio and whatnot and I was confused. But I sent him one anyway.
When I got there, Carlos was waiting for me. He told me to go look at the sandwich board. I find our name in... neon marker. Not a lit marquee, but it's a start.

We waited for Mickey and then headed downstairs for the sound check. It was about this time that we realized... they might be looking for more than two songs. Turns out they wanted a twenty minute set. Fortunately, we had more than enough in the trunk to do twenty minutes. We are doing a show after all.
When the open mic started, there were maybe 6 people there. I started to freak out and pace, you know, mentally. 5 minutes before we got onstage, Mickey got another drink, came back to our table and whispered to me, "I just shook hands with Julian Lennon."

JULIAN LENNON!
Sweet, juicy freaking Moses!
One degree away from Mickey's God. I defy you to be blasé about that one.

We finally got up on stage and performed our set. In front of Julian Lennon.
I sang "Black Belt in Bar Stools" in front of Julian Lennon.
We kept our cool and sang the songs as we always have, while the majority of the audience could not have cared less. Room full of people at a bar, trying to talk over the three people with mics. : ) Ah, show business.
But a few people were actually listening. Yes, Julian Lennon among them.
When the set was prematurely over (we cut a song or two what with the total disinterest and all), we went to the bar to celebrate with a drink.

Mickey leans over to inform me that I'm 2 feet away from Julian Lennon.
Yeah, 'cause I was unaware.
And he dared me to hand him a flyer for the show.
And I did.
I handed him a flyer and he told us we have great voices.
Freakin' AWESOME!

Then the proper open mic began and he was out. He was ghost, kid.
He stuck around to listen to us and then he left.
That's probably the highest compliment we've gotten yet.

Michael, the accompanist for the open mic apologized about the noise level as we packed up to leave.
And I would have considered the night a total wash-out, but I told him, "Hey, we sang in front of Julian Lennon! Our night isn't going to get any better than that."

So I went home to share my excitement with my husband, who giddily squealed along with me.

YA THINK?!